Scouring the Swamp Story

“Matt (Warden; SnuSnu) and Ted (Ardent; Unnamed) headed back to the cave to spend the night….”

 
After returning to the cave, SnuSnu introduced Ted to the rest of the company and explained how they were ambushed, but assisted in ending the frogs’ life of mistakes (Re: Ambushing them) via death. They also showed the MageFrog’s amulet to the rest of the party, and after none of them could sense any use for it, the Cleric decided to hold onto it. As night fell, they decided to stay the night in the cave. SnuSnu walled up the cave again, only with a hole at the top to ventilate the smoke from the fire…
 
In the early morning, the party awoke to the sounds of mumbling outside the cave in a language none of them could understand. Undoubtedly, something had seen their smoke from a distance, and had come to investigate. SnuSnu opened a small hole to view the outside, and they discovered a Goblin Acolyte (of Someonething) seemed to be chanting something repeatedly. Quinn (Rogue; Danny) decided to have a look for herself, and after SnuSnu made an opening to the right, Quinn poked her head out – completely unstealthily – to see if there were any other goblins. There were not. 
Knowledge of the goblin acolyte’s order told them that they were highly prone to superstitious symbols – so SnuSnu commanded an eagle to land directly outside the cave – near Quinn – in order to try to form a ‘sign’ for the goblin to move on.
 
[Definitely forgot some of the order of this, but whatever, you get the point.]
However, naturally, the opposite effect was inflicted, and the goblin immediately attacked Quinn. Because they had all just woken up, apparently no one was in ready for battle mode yet – therefore a majority of the party missed with their first attacks..
Once the goblin saw there were 4 of them, he knew he needed some back up. But from where? He moved back as far as he could – taking more damage, and now looking significantly injured – and bellowed a battle cry while swinging his axe so forcefully that a shock wave hit 2 of the company from the distance. At the same time, 5 goblins (4 small, 1 larger) joined the fray from out of sight on both sides of the cave entrance. They destroyed more of the nature-wall as well as attacking some of the crew. At this point, 2 of the small goblins were inside the cave with most of the party, and the rest were outside with Quinn.
 
The party decided the best strategy to take down the goblin mob would be divide an conquer. While Quinn and SnuSnu moved back deeper into the cave, Ardent willed Dire Radiance on the acolyte, and lit part of him on fire. From 40ft away, he was lucky to hit, and only inflicted minor damage. The wall was recreated, and the two smaller goblins were killed easily. 
As the acolyte moved closer to the cave, he suddenly was re-lit aflame by the Ardent’s will and perished before being able to cast any other heavy spells. The Cleric mistakenly thanks his god for what the Ardent clearly accomplished via his own will.
 
[At this point I realize this isn’t supposed to be a novel, so I’ll TRY TO shorten it up lol]
 
The ARDENT causes a BLACK HOLE to appear in the CAVE after killing one of the GOBLINS, and proceeds to TELEPORT the SHIT out of EVERYONE who enters it.
The PARTY continues to FUCK UP the other GOBLINS, as a GOBLIN SHARPSHOOTER starts consistently shooting QUINN because she was the easiest target. Or maybe it was just jealous of her awesome RACK.
 
After the PARTY KILLS the rest of the GOBLINS, ARDENT proceeds to TEA-BAG the ACOLYTE’S corpse. For fun. And also because he had a self-induced high from killing it in such a BADASS way. 
 
They LOOT a SEXY-BUT-NOT-AS-SEXY-AS-QUINN lvl 3 MAGIC DAGGER. Clearly, it was destined for her. The dagger looked so HUGE in her tiny HANDS, yet she wielded it with such grace. ARDENT watches closely.
Also, they found some gold, silver, and a health potion n shit. 
 
The PARTY decides to head East; because why not.
As they are walking through the swamp-forest, they are suddenly AMBUSHED by fucking VINES. ARDENT is stab/bitten in NOT-THE-PENIS, and can sense that these vines steal blood and life from their victims.
Even though the VINE is literally ATTACHED to him, he proceeds to MISS it with his HALBERD. Then he pseudo-dies. (I forgot that word…)
 
Everyone is panicking. 
The WARDEN and ROGUE are ATTACKING (poorly). 
The CLERIC is CLERIC-ING (his ass off). 
The VINES are SUCKING everyone’s BLOOD (winningly).
Fortunately, ARDENT gets healed, re-joins the fight and SAVES the DAY (with help).
From then on, they all make sure to watch the damn trees, because apparently no one told them this is the SWAMP of THINGS-THAT-WANT-TO-KILL-YOU.
 
They move forward, and see a sign about the FROG CAVE that most definitely has TONS of TREASURE stuff in it that the frogs can’t digest. There is also a DRAGONBORN SORCERER standing by the sign.
 
QUINN instantly gets a LADYBONER for the DRAGONBORN. ARDENT is so not cool with this, and attempts to INTIMIDATE him.
The DRAGONBORN then returns the favor by displaying his FIRE BREATHING PENIS of INTIMIDATION, silencing the entire party.
CLERIC prays to his GOD for HELP.
 
As WARDEN and ARDENT discuss camping out to wait and observe the FROG CAVE’s inhabitants, ROGUE and SORCERER decide that WAITING is for PUSSIES, and CHARGE towards the CAVE.
Before they get all the way to it, 2 small froglings (not the same as the old frogs, btw) come out and attack them – causing their targets to FALL to the GROUND
 
As everyone is fighting, ARDENT moves around the battle to get a better view inside the cave, at which point he sees TWO (2) VENASAUR-LOOKING, SHROOM’D UP, LAZY FROG-THINGS
 
In order to prevent them from aiding their smaller frog minions, WARDEN uses some NATURE magic to set up another WALL at the entrance of the cave. SORCERER and ARDENT then light the wall on FIRE.
 
One of the little frogs dies.
The big frogs JUMP through the FIRE, rendering the whole fire wall USELESS… or so it seems.
The big frogs use their TONGUES to pull CLERIC and ROGUE towards them, and attack.
 
For some reason, perhaps the FIRE/SMOKE and SHROOM POWDER, everyone is having issues with their weapons, swinging blindly about, missing A LOT.
 
SORCERER decides to MAN-UP and jumps into and through the FIRE
SORCERER decided to BE-AWESOME and casts ACID-spew THROUGH the FIREWALL, causing FIRE-Y ACID to cover FAT FROG 1, LITTLE FROG 2, and WARDEN.
 
Both FROGS then DEFLATE due to FIRE-ACID-DEATH
WARDEN is like WTF, MATE? // (Story building?)
 
The PARTY kills the last FAT FROG and as it explodes, it covers two of them in SHROOM-DUST, causing them to be more HALLUCINATED than INJURED.
 
Party LOOTS the CAVE and finds;
Magic Staff
Gold Ring
and OtherStuffThatIForgot
 
The PARTY decides that the CAVE is relatively SAFE, but instead of walling up the ENTRANCE and lighting a FIRE to attract ASSHOLES again, they lay TRAPS near where the TREASURE was, and set up for rest in a small alcove on the other side of the CAVE.

Scouring the Swamp Story

The Shadow of the Destroyer Urshak